Thursday, August 17, 2006

Pissed and Bleeding

and high on oxycodon, but that's not the point, really. I waiver between feeling like I'm walking on marshmallows and intense nausea. I had my third surgery on Monday and although physically, I'm feeling decent, what I want to know is..

where the f@ck are all of my girlfriends?

You know, the girls that I've been friends with over the last 7+ years? The ones who knew about my surgery and haven't bothered to call or email or otherwise check-in to see how I am doing? Yeah. um those. On the upside, the friends that I've made since our move to Denver last year have been really wonderful and supportive and I'm thankful for them. It's enough to deal with your own fertility issues, but to top it off with questioning the sincerity of friendships you've cultivated over the years is too overwhelming right now. I'm acknowledging that these women have let me down and I'm moving on from feeling bad about it.

The good news: I have a sliver of my right ovary remaining, and my left is still intact except now missing the hemorrhaghic (non-endometrioma) cyst--UPDATE: Well, sort of. As it turns out, I have about 50% of my left ovary.-- My abdomen looks like a battle ground, with scars from three previous surgeries and excised endometriomas. It's painfully bloated and I haven't crapped since the Sunday/Monday Fleets incident (and truth be told, I'm rather fond of my dailyies). Most concerning tho, is the slow stream of blood dripping from my vajayjay. I know it's normal and to be expected, I know why it's bleeding and the procedure that caused it, but it's dang uncomfortable. Apparently, I shouldn't be surprised if I continue to bleed well into my next period, which is 2 weeks away (ha ha.. a whole new twist on the 2ww).

Appointment with Dr. Swami on the 31st to discuss road map for IVF Round 1.


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